Senor Genjibre

Its one of things that no one dare admit; I care about what you think of me, Mr. Hook-up.

Courting is so weird when you actually think about it, I mean honestly think about how you met your significant. WEIRD, RIGHT? Right.I suppose what I'm getting at is that I hooked up with someone last week and while I normally wouldn't think twice about ol' mister what's-his-name, he did something that's being nagging me since.

He said he liked me. 

WHO DOES THAT?

I should give precedence for this anecdote if for anything just to visualize and get to the heart of the issue for myself.

Three weeks ago I sat alone in a bar in Downtown, I was wearing my favorite paisley dress and sipping club soda and angostura bitters. I was killing time, waiting for my brother to get off work so I could give him a ride home. Absolutely nothing exceptional was happening. I turned my gaze to the door that leads to the patio and saw my friend Nico walk through the door. While I was completely content to remain seated alone at the bar, it was nice to run into a friend I don't see too often; he ran over, hugged me, invited me to the patio party they (his group of friends) were having.

Nico is this young, beautiful 20 something with great hair and a since of sweet naivety about him. Introductions commenced, I must have met 15 people in 30 seconds. Ask me who was there that evening and I'll draw blank, save for one.

This is how I met Mark.

Mark is an unassuming man; slight build, freckled face, strawberry blond hairstyle from the late 90's, with the reddest beard I've ever seen. I can't remember what was said, but I recall telling him about my book project, and I may or may not have made fun of him because he is from Dallas.

He told me he had a degree in Spanish and I swear to fucking God I almost died.

Quite possibly the whitest person I have ever met has a degree in Spanish and lives in Texas. Take whatever time you need to at this moment to contemplate, research, and whatever else you have to do to come to the conclusion I did at the moment following his statement.

I could tell that making a "useless degree" joke would be alright because I'd already made fun of him and he was being a great sport. I proceeded with "you have a degree in Spanish?! That's almost as useless as my degree in English!" (All joking aside, I think any degree attained is an accomplishment and kudos to you for pursuing what makes you happy). We chatted for a bit longer and decided to bar hop with the rest of the party, which we'd at this point completely ignored because we're self indulgent assholes who are terrible at being inclusive


and I'm going to stop telling this story right now because it's fucking pathetic and boring and its starting to piss me off.


I am just bummed about a boy. 

If you ever get the chance to be completely honest with someone, I strongly suggest you throw caution to the wind and do it because there is nothing more cruel than leading someone on.

If you hook up, just hook up, and refrain from insisting that you genuinely like the person you're hooking up with, you had your night, let it be done.


I'm gonna get over this in like, 10 minutes- till then I'm going to listen to Against Me! and feel sorry for myself.