Dark Roast

It's one of those mornings where you wake up and take inventory. Clothing is on, purse is present, license is in wallet, money is scattered about in purse, but where are my shoes? Roll out of bed at a nice and easy 9:30 a.m. and begin the transformation from drunk transient to hungover hack writer. Feeling like a slow motion technicolor film, everything is almost just floating. Sometimes you just have to take off your heels and walk barefoot; it's rude to wake the neighbors.

Shoes are in the trunk.

It might be seen as taboo or unladylike to discuss one's exploits or acts of social depravity, but I'm a no holds barred kind of lady and could really give a shit, it keeps things interesting.

I ventured alone for the majority of last evening. I had dinner with my good friend Joseph, who was dressed in a tuxedo because he attended a black tie event prior to our rendezvous at Rudyard's brittish pub, but his casual girlfriend called and so ended our evening of debauchery. Feeling the itch for another shot of whiskey and some familiar faces I found myself at Grand Prize Bar. I ran into the people I know from the industry and that made for good conversation- I was also delighted to see my friend Cheddar who is visiting from Italy. Good times were had. I soon found myself meeting with my good friend Danielle at Boondocks, which by the way sucks; we sat, listened to Madonna, had drinks, and then decided to head over to Kung Fu.

 Because in reality that's exactly what I needed, another drink.

Now see, I've been feeling on this guy for a second now, and I've been trying to play it cool because I tend to get a little bit batshit crazy when it comes to men. Call it serendipity, call it coincidence, call it drunk and horny, what have you- en route to Kung Fu I am contacted by said person. He is fucking hot. Really ridiculously good looking.

 IhavetobailbecauseIwanttogetlaidandthisguyisgoingtodoit.

Maybe I'm a bad friend for selling my friend Danielle out for a guy, but at least I apologized.

In retrospect I'll say this, he is an asshole who prays on young women and post-break up vulnerability, he is also one hairy motherfucker, but sometimes at 2 a.m. those things don't matter and you find yourself at his apartment. So sue me.