Craigslist for Texans

There are a few types of people who post on Craigslist:

-People who want to sell things (because they're broke)
-People who want to buy cheap things (because they're broke)
-Creepers (creepy people, that crazy guy with the thousand yard stare who sits in front of your favorite coffee shop all day, close talkers, mouth breathers, serial killers)
-Desperate folk

quit lying to yourself, you fall under one of these categories.

I have used Craigslist once, attempting to sell my no longer functioning Motorcycle; I received a number of responses (albeit a bit later than I had desired) but the most unique one came from a man who expressed interest, but could not afford the initial asking price. I am not an unreasonable person, and when you are in desperate need of cash negotiating is acceptable. With all this, I entertained many offers from various potential buyers, but the man in question was unique in his methods of haggling. He contacted me via email and asked me if I still had the bike, I informed him that I did not, but sometimes you don't take "no" for an answer- even if "no" is the only possible answer. This is Texas, dammit. I presumed that my lack of bike would have squashed any further contact from the gentleman, but low and behold I had once again taken for granted common sense, and I thank the Lord that I had the good fortune of experiencing what transpired next.

This motherfucker asked me to trade my nonexistent bike for:

- A Shotgun
- Ikea end tables
- Power Drill with drill bits
- Several extension cords
- 200 dollars cash

A shotgun. I have never been offered a shotgun in lieu of payment before.

I love Texas, and so should you.