Today was exceptionally beautiful, warm air and sweet wind swept through the city and it was the most perfect day in Houston history. All beauty aside, it's hard to acknowledge when you're still nursing a broken heart but I'm keeping my day's busy and it's helping a bit.
In the previous post I talked about my self help program and the homework I was assigned in order to achieve the results I'm seeking. I opened module 6 today and it was nestled in between "take a stark look at yourself" and "think of a fond memory of your previous relationship and try not to cry" so naturally I proceeded to read through the rest of the module and cry like a baby. Even though the tears were steady and warm I believe that as the day wore on and the words mulled though every center of my brain, progress was a'brewin.
In a brief summary the module instructed that I think about my favorite memory of my relationship with Tim. I sat and pondered, running through the list of all the things we'd done together, every detail I could conjure up, and I narrowed it down to the one. So, here we go.
Tim and I traveled to Austin earlier this year because I was participating in a wonderful event called Speed Rack; we stayed with his favorite aunt which in turn made me feel very close to him because I was beginning to understand more of what his family was like and how it made him the person he is. On our second day of vacation we woke early and traveled to Hamilton Pool, it was cool but sunny and as we arrived I felt grateful that I got to share this moment with someone so special.
We walked down the trail, examining different parts of the tributary that fed into the pool, watching small rapids, skipping rocks, looking for fish, pointing out stagnant zones in the otherwise alive river and then we we're welcomed to a place where time didn't matter and mother nature surely vacations. It was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. I'd never known perfection until that very moment. We ventured under the rock face where the water poured over us but never touching our bodies, making our way around. I thought about summer, and how I was sure that we'd come back when it was warm and swim in the pool that God made just for young lovers like us. I watched Tim traverse the rocks ahead of me in shoes that didn't belong in this terrain but his feet still diligently exploring as the rest of his body followed.
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| This is the rock Tim slid off of |
We arrived at the midpoint on the underside of the rock and then much like a Charlie Chaplin skit where he topples over, Tim lost his footing and slid down the rock beneath him. He looked like a log rolling down a hill, and as he got back to his feet with a "watch out that's really slippery" , I could only laugh.That laugh is my favorite of all the laughs we ever shared.
I sat in bed earlier, prepping for sleep, and then it rushed over me and I cried because I miss him but then after a moment I remembered his little tumble, the way he looked, and that laugh and it made me smile. Even as I write, I'm laughing and maybe it means I'm getting better, maybe that's a sign of progress, whatever it is, it feels nice to forget about how sad I've been.
It's been 14 days since I saw him last but tonight he made me laugh.
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| Everything was beautiful |
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